1.27.15 Cider Mill - Trivia
TEAMS: Answering the final 15 questions perfectly, FEMBOTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO (84) added another impressive Trivia victory to their resume. PUP N' SUDS (82) fetched the right answers in the final round, nearly digging out the win. Cider Mill regulars, TRIGGER HAPPY BUNNIES (77) would like to have a few shots back, but grabbed the last gift certificate in this incredibly close competition. The Trivia team with a soccer problem, GOAL DIGGERS (75) warmed up with Trivia, scoring points from everywhere, but their final shot missed wide. CHIMP N' IT (75) got on a roll in the second-half, but were left barehanded when the roll ran out of paper late in the game. SCRATCH N' SNIFF (69) obviously had more fun than the rest of us. "O" FACE (51) reached in regulation, but forgot that high score wins.
TRIVIA: Dice prefers his toilet paper soft, two-ply, and over-the-roll...don't mess with my system. Apparently, Dice isn't the only one with "rules" about TP, although it's looking like I wouldn't have enjoyed my daily constitutional as much in history.
The first documented use of TP was noted by a Chinese scholar who presumably wrote on something other than toilet paper stating, "Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from the Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes..." Dice doesn't agree, as he actually finds some embossing to be both effective and somewhat enjoyable. The ancient Greeks preferred using a smooth stone...Dice says rocks, uh-uh, no way. The ancient Romans and Bill O'Reilly like a sponge on a stick...Dice says falafel is delicious and should never be used for that Bill. The Japanese just used a stick...Dice puckers at the thought. The left-hand method preferred by early Native Americans and many other cultures doesn't work for lefties...Dice happens to be sinistral, so that isn't going to work. Henry VIII had the highly respected and feared "Groom of the Stool" to keep him clean...Dice wonders if he resembles the piss boy, "It's good to be the king!"
Today, the toilet paper industry is massive, with more than 7 billion rolls of paper consumed annually by Americans. On average, each of us Americans use 57 sheets of toilet paper every day, accounting for about 27,000 trees being flushed away each and every day. Think about that next time you send your filthy paper waste on a wasted 1.6 to 3.5+ gallon freshwater journey through your septic system.
TUNES: RIP Robin Williams, thank you for the "Elmer Springsteen" impression. Air Supply, Toto, and El De Barge took us back to the 80's, and Billy Joel gave us a history lesson...in how not to rap. A pair from Dice's favorite cover band, Postmodern Jukebox, got the crowd swinging. Dice enjoyed finding old and new fan favorites with "Islands In The Stream," and "Blurred Bartman."
Dice's favorite of the night..."Wicked Ones" by Dorothy. Enjoy that video!
-Dice
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